Is the Language of Love Spoken?

In honor of my parents, who celebrated fifty-five years of marriage this month.  I  love you Mom and Dad!


When I was a youngster any details about how my parents met and the courtship that followed were kept to the basic when, where and how. It was adequate information for me at the time; additional details weren’t solicited until years later. By then my romantic idealism was of a decidedly adolescent nature so I singled out the details that were of interest to me and disregarded the rest. In other words, I just wanted to hear the mushy stuff! It wasn’t until I was approaching my twenties, having accumulated a few years of my own dating experience, that I began to question the “how” of my parents’ courtship.

You see, my Mother is German; born and raised in West Germany. My Father grew up in a small farming town in Northern California. When my parents met my Father was a soldier in the United States Army stationed in Germany. My Mother spoke no English and my Father’s German was limited to the most casual greetings and pleasantries. When my father returned state side six months later, he brought his new bride with him.

Now, even in the best of circumstances and with the benefit of verbal communication, dating can be awkward and unnerving. How do you share your interests, future goals or even a good joke if you can’t make yourself understood? “How did you speak to each other?” I would ask my Mother. “How did you get to know each other?”                                                                                                                            

Sometimes I wondered if she asked herself the same questions. Smiling at the memory, she would explain how Dad would try to throw out a few German words combined with the appropriate combination of expressive hand gestures. “How did you even know he had proposed to you?” I asked. “At the time I had a pretty good idea by the look on his face,” was Mom’s response, “And then I went home and looked it up in the German/English dictionary.”                                                                                                                 

Since then, Dad is known for attaching a Bavarian accent to his English as though it will somehow make his words a little more German friendly. Mom gets annoyed when we giggle and tease my Dad about his “accent.” “At least he tries,” she’ll say to us pointedly.                                                                            

My Mother eventually taught herself how to speak and write English in addition to attaining United States citizenship. Dad’s German is a bit improved although he still incorporates his Bavarian inflection when speaking to my Mom’s family overseas.                                                                                                    

My parents went on to raise three children and are the proud grandparents of seven. Despite the initial comprehensive hurdle, my parents have translated the language of love into fifty-five years of family, marriage and commitment.